Here we are, baby, in the car
out front of your first big mistake.
I know it looks terrifying. I can see your
white knuckle grip on the door handle,
but please, darling girl, be brave.
In this parking lot, there are
cement poles marked with numbers
and a feeling of cold. In the center,
here you are, metallic and
breakable and so beautiful.
This is where you forget about me,
at least for a little while.
This is where I tell you that it is okay.
On your way out, tuck this taste you will learn to know so well
under your tongue;
the taste of bathroom corners
and lipstick licked out from between your teeth
and every wrong decision.
Remember: the sour, the asphalt salt against roof of mouth,
let it teach you to chew, to swallow.
Remember: it’s okay if he doesn’t love you. It’s okay if
his lips don’t curl around your syllables the right way.
You are sacred in every flavour and he is not hungry.
This is where I ball my fists and place them beside
your own on the dashboard and unlearn the years
of forgetting what it meant to be this fragile.
This is where I say I will hold you,
where I remind you that the metal in your mouth
should always be your own.
This is where I tell you that it will feel like dying.
This is where I tell you that it isn’t.
This is where you open the door and I call after you
to remind you that I’ve done this, too,
so make your mistakes.
Look back, if you have to.
Here, the headlights will stay on for you.
The Car Ride Towards Lost Daughters | Caitlyn
Here, the passenger’s seat will wait.
Here, home is a highway exit away,
and I will be there. I will stay.
I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful
before I’ve called them intelligent or brave
I am sorry I made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is all you have to be proud of
when you have broken mountains with your wit
from now on I will say things likeyou are resilient,
or you are extraordinary
not because I don’t think you’re beautiful
but because I need you to know
you are more than that
I am a June day sailing through December.
When I live, I do it with blades of grass
slotted in the gap of my front teeth. This is how I love:
The first bone I broke was two summers ago,
rotting marrow in a field of daisies,
towering oaks caressing my face,
for letting me slip through. This is how I love:
on my knees.
Once my mother apologized
for bringing me into this world, with its iron fingernails,
bombs screaming across Kabul.
But no, this world is beautiful, the wind
cupping my mouth
and snatching air from my lungs.
I have seen the stars – I know what it is to kiss a summer night
and fall in love.
Unless you have watched the sun rise,
do not tell me this life is suffering.
Misery comes from four walls,
not the open sky pressed against your hands.
Nature is my mistress, blessing my bones
even after it breaks them,
and I want to swallow every drop of water
to leave the earth barren and dry. This is how I love:
The sun balances on a string 92,960,000 miles away
as the earth flutters its skirts and spins,
but these summers are the warmest I’ve ever felt.
Mars winked at me last night and a blush
crawled through my stomach. This is how I love:
with my heart in my hands.
I kissed a gravestone because I know the ground
will be my home one day, let the dirt erode my bones
to soft dust and decay. This is how I love:
Love Note | d.a.s
NaPoWriMo day 18: summer
Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.
Franz Kafka (via psych-facts
I think I’d miss you even if we never met.
It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out. And it’s sad. And you want to forget about dying. But mostly you just want to forget about saying goodbye.
] (via sirenmagic